Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Beauty in Black and White

I'm not supposed to be blogging right now. I have a to do list of things I am supposed to be doing.
I spent the last 5 minutes starring at a blank word document. I am supposed to be writing out Caitlin's daily routine for my mother-in-law. I can't make myself start. Writing it means it is happening. I know she will be here tonight, so it is happening regardless, but I still can't get myself to start typing.
The interim sub in my classroom called yesterday to ask if I wanted a transition week or not. Part of me wants her out so I can fix make changes without hurting her feelings. The other part of me knows I am going to be a mess on Monday. I also know that they have not yet arranged coverage for my afternoon "pump break" so I said a few days transition would be good. Thankfully she offered to write the lesson plans for next week as well. I can't think about that yet, so it is a help.
I went to the neurologist yesterday. The MRI results are normal...just another couple of hundred dollars paid for peace of mind. She did the nerve conduction test and found that yes, there is pinching in my wrist and elbow...again nothing new.
She tried to test my upper arm. That nerve conduction test there requires a needle in the muscle. As she did it, she was getting feedback on the machine and she kept telling me to relax because the noise was tension in my muscle.
HELLO? You put a NEEDLE in my arm and are moving it around...and you want me to RELAX????
After the THIRD time she poked my arm with the needle and told me to relax I started feeling light-headed. She decided that it wasn't telling her much and she didn't want me to pass out, so we stopped there.
At this point I am going to do the genetic testing for HNPP and hope that explains the numbness...
In the meantime my neck hurts like heck...and there is no neurological explanation. It looks like it is just stress. Great.
The morning schedule "trial run" has already been modified. Caitlin doesn't eat well in the morning. Even if she sleeps 8 hours so does not like a big breakfast. So instead of waking her early for a last feed before work, I am just going to pump and let Morgan feed her a bottle at 7. We tried it today and it seemed to work well. Starting tomorrow we are going to work Nana into the mix. I have early PT so I have to have the schedule written out for her by then...which brings me back to where this post started,
Sorry for the down post...that is kind of where I am at right now. (I have never wanted Caitlin to wake up from her nap as badly as I do right now so that I do not have to face the to do list...)
So, to make up for it, here are my new favorite pictures of Caitlin. She makes me smile.
And as if on cue I hear her in the monitor. I love that girl!
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Agate Lake Girl said...

Good luck with everything. Expect lots of tears next week (from you, not Caitlin). I hope the transition goes as smoothly as possible.

Kelly said...

Totally am thinking about you guys! It's a tough transition, I'm sure, but I will continue keeping you all in my thoughts! super precious, love all the pictures!

Kellie said...

I know that must be so frustrating and hard to be dealing with the change of schedule, leaving Caitlin for hours at a time, and dealing with your arm all at the same time. Good luck with everything! I'll keep you in my prayers:)

And congrats to Jason! I haven't checked blogs in forever, so I was a little late in hearing he's engaged. That is awesome!